Hello everyone.  I only have a few things for you today, but I wanted to get through them before I forget. 

I saw ex-championship football coach and current commentator Jimmie Johnson on a commercial last night… for Extenze.  If you aren’t familiar with this product, watch the advertisement and it’ll become immediately obvious.  That’s right; Johnson who has multiple Super Bowl and National Championship titles as a coach and is currently on one of the most successful NFL pre-game shows is now the pitch man for penis enlargement pills, telling the men of America to, “Go long” with Extenze.  I would have to assume that Jimmie has plenty of money; I really want to know what they had to offer him to do this.  I mean, I would understand Viagra.  He’s an older guy, maybe he’s not getting the punch that he used to down there.  But this is just a little creepy.  Are we supposed to assume that little Jimmie is packing a big Johnson now?  Kinda gross.  And what made Extenze go to Jimmie Johnson to be their pitch guy?  You’d think they’d want to go younger.  Is it because no younger celebrity would set aside their pride to do it?  Or is it because his first and last name have both been used as slang terms for a penis in the past?  In the late nineties a few rappers such as A Tribe Called Quest, The Jungle Brothers and Digital Underground referred to condoms as “jimmie hats”.  And who can forget in The Big Lebowski when Flea was threatening to cut off The Dude’s “johnson”.   Whatever the case may be, this is really weird and apparently Coach Johnson now is appropriately named.

 

Here’s a question for all the ladies out there.  What’s up with the boots?  Did President Obama pass a law when he got in to office that every chick in the United States had to purchase a pair of big ass boots?  As I am walking around downtown I see more women and girls wearing boots than not.  They could be the Ugg boots, leather boots with all kinds of crazy buckles and straps, suede boots that kinda fold or ruffle up and a lot of the sleek black or brown boots that the business women tend to be more fond of.  I see the boots with skirts, shorts, under slacks and with leggings or jeans tucked in to the top of them.  You may ask yourself; does K-Duce have a weird foot fetish?  Why is he always looking at women’s feet?  Well I’ll answer you.  No, I don’t have a foot fetish.  The overwhelming amount of boots is just plain unavoidable.  I don’t have a problem with the boots; these are just the kinds of things I think about.  I hope Obama doesn’t pass a law that men have to start buying boots.  I’m not really a boot guy.  If I had to buy a pair though, I’d probably get some cowboy boots.  And I would definitely tuck my jeans in them.  There, I’m done.  If there is a record for the most amount of times the word boot was put in to a paragraph, I think I probably just landed at least in the top five.

 

I have a huge appreciation for the golden oldies.  I love music from the fifties and sixties like so many people do.  I was listening to Chuck Berry the other night and “Sweet Little Sixteen” came on.  I have heard this song a million times, and this was the first time that it kinda struck me as creepy.  What was up with sixteen year old girls back then?  Is it weird that all of these older singers were so in to them?  Was it legal for men over the age of eighteen to hook up with sixteen year old girls in 1959?  The Crests sang a famous song called “Sixteen Candles” where they called this girl their teenage queen.  One of my all time favorites Sam Cooke sang about falling in love with a girl who was “Only Sixteen”.  The great Ringo Staar said in a song, “You’re Sixteen” and you’re beautiful and you’re mine.  He was like thirty something when that song came out.  I don’t know the rules in England, but you’re not getting away with that in the good old U.S of A.  Dateline has made millions filming thirty something year old guys getting arrested for prowling after sixteen year old girls.  Anyway, these are just some of the bigger songs.  There were tons.  You’d think the songs would have been about girls turning eighteen, because you know… they’re legal.  Not that it’s appropriate either, I’m just sayen.  I am just glad that my daughter (who doesn’t exist) will grow up in time where there isn’t a bunch of perverted, pedophile pop singers out there.  Aside I guess from R. Kelly. 

So that’s it for today.  I hope everyone is well.